My December

It's sunday night and the soulful sounds of Ed Sheeran fill the living room... Christmas lights twinkling in the corner from the small artificial tree, the first non-real tree I've ever purchased in fact, a corona sits in on the edge of my coffee table next to my propped up feet and I am ready to delve into my second post of this blog.  As I sit here surrounded by the modern conveniences of my Los Angeles apartment, music pouring out of my new bluetooth wireless speaker, my boyfriend singing along while he plays with his new ipad mini it's almost hard to believe that no more than two days ago I was trekking through the countryside of Taiwan and a week before that I was wandering through the land of smiles.  I've realized that traveling is a really surreal experience in this regard. It seems that no matter how much I try to stop and really take in the reality and consciously enjoy every moment and experience abroad, as soon a return home it feels like a dream that almost never happened.  Yet of course, I know...and have hundreds of photos...to prove otherwise.  I'm not sure if everyone experiences this type of wrinkle in time effect or if it's just my brain's interpretation of my travels but it causes me to stop and smell the roses as they say while wandering the street markets or watching the sun set behind distant mountains.  Though regardless of how many times I tell myself to pause and truly experience the moment, once I'm home it all feels like a lovely distant past life.  A life I wish I could capture and live in forever...but until I strike it rich and win the lotto, dreams they will remain.  Yet even dreams can have a profound impact on your life.

They aways say traveling is the best way to gain a new perspective.  I think that is very true, to gain...or rediscover, traveling abroad is something that not enough people take stock in.  Americans are the worst, because most of us will complain that we don't have the means to travel...but really, we just don't make it a priority.  Leaving our job or dreams of a house or family on hold for a few weeks scare us and we'd rather invest in a big screen TV or new phone or car than invest in ourselves and our cultural awareness.  There are people in many countries who would love to travel but truly don't have the means...we have the means, just choose to use them elsewhere.  It's sad really...this vacuum/bubble we live in, it's not the same in Europe where traveling is a way of life, a right of passage even.  Regardless, even I find I end up buying into the American mentality the longer it's been since I've escaped it's boarders.  Just before my trip I could feel myself becoming ungrateful, complacent, and unsatisfied with what I had and where my life was.  I just turned 31 and what did I have to show for it?  I haven't gotten married or started a family, my career was no further than it was four years ago, there's no way I'm even thinking of buying a house, and I hated when people asked me how my life was going because I felt I didn't have much to say.  Perfect timing for a trip, I told myself.

This year's dream consisted of two wonderful weeks in Thailand and one in Taiwan, my Christmas present to myself, the holidays abroad.  My favorite time of year.  Unfortunately, the holidays in Asia are really not the holidays at all, being primarily a buddhist part of the world, hence why the little fake Christmas tree I left my boyfriend still sits proudly in the corner twinkling away.  End of the year, the beginning of 31, a fresh new prospective, an escape before barreling into 2015 full masts and dreams ablaze.  So here I sit...three weeks of adventure behind me, staring the last few days of 2014 square in the eyes seemingly no more ready to face the challenges of the new year as I was a month ago.  But no more dragging my feet...if there's anything I've found it's you're never "ready" to make the necessary changes, until you simply do it.  What I will take from the trip however, is a greater understanding of myself, the way I work, the way I like to travel, what truly excites and inspires me, and how hard I'll fight to make it a constant way of life.  This trip I relaxed on island beaches, let the salt water and sand between my toes, danced barefoot and played with fire, froze my bootie off riding a motorbike up a mountain to see the evening light play off the roofs of a shrine, rediscovered my love of the spanish language (long story), haggled with locals, enjoyed the local street fare, discovered a new country, stayed at 5 star hotels, enjoyed luxurious 10 course dinners, slept in prayer rooms on tatamis, saw old friends, and made new.  In the end I'm left with 5 pairs of jelly shoes, two pairs of cheap sunglasses, two new skirts, twenty pairs of false eyelashes, twenty something face masks, countless cheap bracelets, four necklaces, and two rings, three lanterns made out of old tin cans, tons of little asian cakes and snacks, a cell phone case that resembles a strawberry, a vibrant and permanent piece of art beneath the skin of my forearm, a greatly depleted bank account, hundreds of photographs and a collection of lovely distant memories and knowing myself just a little bit better.  All in all, I think I made out like a bandit.

I suppose it should be more of a culture shock, returning to my somewhat cluttered very american sized apartment full of electronics and carpet, a soft bed and shoes and clothes galore but it's not this time.  Perhaps I've traveled enough now to not be fazed by it...or maybe Taiwan was modernized enough to bridge the gap between Thailand and the US.  What I do know is that I am ready to once again go through my belongings and initiate yet another purge.  If I lived out of a small suitcase for three weeks then surely I don't need two closets worth of clothing.  Also, I realize that I am blessed to live in such a country where my day to day isn't limited to working long hours making just enough to survive.  Yes, I do believe that the simpler life has it's advantages...that if I lived in a country like Thailand I could be happy selling noodle soup on the corner or selling art at the night markets and living a very modest life, but I was lucky enough to be born here, in this first world country to parents who worked hard to give me this very "cushy" in comparison life.  I'm blessed to have the choice to be a "struggling artist" and to work a job that allows me to follow the silver screen dreams as well as pay my bills, and travel abroad.  Yes I was born into a society where we are taught never to be satisfied with simply living life, where we measure success by the amount of materialistic items we posses or power we feel we have, where we work too much and often forget how to enjoy the simpler things, where we are often forgetting to live "in the moment" and are always looking to better ourselves.  It's a rat race till the end and many Americans get stuck in it...but it too has it's advantages.  As long as I don't let myself forget what is truly important, what truly inspires me, the way the sunlight slants through the trees in the morning or the way it illuminates the mountains in the evening.  The feeling of the wind against my face as I speed down a busy street on a motor bike or the excitement and buzz of a night market, and at the same time remember how amazing it is that I can have those memories, live those experiences and follow my dream of being what essentially can be called a giant kid who's job is to play make believe...then...well, then I'm ready for 2015...and I'm starting to realize that I can't loose.

That's why I like writing.  Whether or not you enjoy reading it, well...in the end I guess that's not important.  I'm starting to realize that the best thing about traveling is that it is humbling.  I know I've come to this conclusion before; every time I return from a trip abroad in fact, yet each time I forget...just in time to go abroad again.  I'm humbled and grateful, for I truly live a life of luxury, sure I may not be making 6 figures, and may not have an impressive job that pays my bills, or a loving husband and kids...but I have so much.  I am rich beyond belief.  My worldly possessions are more than I need to live a happy and humble life, and my adventures are more than most of my fellow Americans have experienced, and yes...I love living the life I have, bring it on 2015!  Let's see what adventures await...